The Lotus Flower
by SingingBlues
Summary: Previously known as Slowly Fading -Allen was faced with a challenge; a Game which could trap himself for eternity. When delusions played and taunted his sanity, could something remind him that he was once Allen Walker? Yullen.
1. Prologue

New story!!! The Light of the Darkness prologue(: Pls read and review. This chapter is simply about Allen's opinion on the life of an exorcist, and how this changes his life completely. The story will begin in the next chapter.

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Prologue

The Light in the Darkness

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He hated that white hair of his that made him looked like a weird being that should not exist in this world. It was as if he wanted this. At that moment when he personally turned his foster father into a horrible, ugly machine called 'the akuma', something within him surged up and the next thing he knew, his hair turned into a freaking white colour as white as bleach, making him looked older than he really was.

He hated that red, raw scar that was slashed at his left eye. The gore wound bled deeply and profusely till it left a very big scar after a few weeks, never healing. It then turned into a very painful weapon which was used to seek out for the souls in the akumas that were bore by hatred. That eye would always be hungry, always searching and hunting for the souls that it craved, always forcing him to do the things that he did not want.

He hated to be alone; in a small space where there was only his presence and nothing else. He hated the silence that filled the area he was in; the silence that would bring memories that he did not want to recall; the silence that would bring him nightmares about the chained souls; the silence that let him recalled the incident where he changed Mana into an akuma, screams shrilling in the cold and moist air and the silence that would bring him to remember of the one inside him, making his heart gripped in fear of the one going to dominate him in the future.

He slowly felt his face as his hand covered the side of his face where his red eye was, looking at the mirror. He stared at it for a long time, feeling a strange thing always beside him. Another hand travelled to the side of his shoulders, knowing that the person would always be there no matter how he ran. One time, desperate to run away from this reality, he tried to kill himself. He pulled out his exorcism sword in the attempt to stab himself once for all. As the sword was pierced deeply into his body, he could feel the cold, red liquid streaming down from his heart down to the floor, forming a pool of it. His eyes turned hazy soon after and he thought he was going to die at that instant.

But he didn't. That person saved him from that fatal injury, and he landed up in the infirmary the next day. What greeted him was only tears that streamed down from his face uncontrollably, his heart hurt terribly.

Another time, he decided to kill himself again. During a mission with Lenalee and Lavi, instead of fighting the enemies and attacking them using his Innocence, he deactivated it in the middle of the battle and let the akuma's dark matter penetrated into his frail body. He could remember that he spat out blood before he slowly fell from the sky, dropping at a very great speed towards the ground. As the wind blew strongly he gave a weak smile, thinking that he finally could die. Months of torment would finally be lifted as he slowly closed his heavy eyes, sayinggoodbye to this world that he hated.

But he was wrong again. Again, he lived. At that moment he finally realised that he could not run away from his terrible fate.

No matter how much he wanted to die, he ended up living in this world. Each time he woke up to find himself alive, the pain that was eating away his life worsened even more. He felt terrible, miserable, and tired. The Innocence in his body seemed to be getting heavier, to the extent of bringing him pain whenever he tried to activate it.

He was alone fighting in this battlefield, with no one to go to. Being the Destroyer of Time, the burden became heavier and heavier with many people speaking behind their backs about his uselessness and unworthiness in the Black Order as the Millennium Earl was getting stronger. Though Lenalee and Lavi were his best and closest friends in the Black Order, he did not go to them, not wanting to bring them this heavy burden.

To forget all these unhappy memories in the Black Order, he would always put that sweet smile on his face to everyone, and chatted with them cheerfully and energetically. Sometimes he really felt tired trying to put up a front in front of everyone. The muscles on his cheeks were too exhausted from stretching for long hours, but he still continued smiling, no matter what happened.

Day by day, he was getting weaker. He could feel his stamina slower than usual, his breathings more husky than before. His chest hurt every now and then as he fought with his Innocence activated. The craving for his favourite food was lessening to the extent of skipping his lunch and dinner, not wanting to eat. He could not get the sweet, salty, spicy and sour taste well in his mouth and whenever he swallowed solid food like meat, he felt a flop in his stomach that made him nauseous and he vomited out his whole meal instead.

As he looked out in the moonlight, seeing the faint silver moon reflection looming on the surfaces of the water, he wondered what his path would lead him to. As the ripples of the water blurred the reflection of the moon and faded, he wondered whether he would just disappear like that silently, without a trace.

At that time, would the dream finally ended? Would the light from the end of the darkness appear, leading him out of this?

And when he was sinking further into darkness, would anyone pull him out of the dungeons, like a fairy showing the children the Light out of the path in the fairytales? But as he thought, he laughed. This would not happen, not in this harsh reality where angels and fairies will not exist.....

Was it?

At the thought of it pained him as his face was flooded by tears once more.


	2. The Echoing Voice

Chapter 1 : The Echoing Voice

Allen woke up with a start as he panted, staring across the room. It was early morning and the sun was not completely up yet. The fatigue boy sighed as he pulled over the covers and slid his feet into the warm slippers, brushing his white hair. The golden golem, Timcampy, twitched a little as it flapped its wings slightly, awakened by its master's footsteps. Allen smiled as he put his hand in its tiny head, stroking its soft furs.

"Good morning, Tim. Sorry to wake you up early in the morning." The golem did not seem to mind as it flew up in the air and followed Allen as the teen went to the bathroom to wash up. As the door was closed, soft splashes of the water could be heard as he soaked himself into the lukewarm water above, letting the tiny droplets flow down his skin.

_Allen, you are me, and I am you._

Since the Fourteenth had entered his life, his nightmare began. Everyday, without fail, he would have dreams of corpses lying everywhere, drained with blood. The whole building of the Black Order collapsed into ruins and crumbles. Every dream, he would always be there, alone. No matter how he called out, his voice would always travel back to himself. No one answered himself, and only the silent howl of the wind echoed into his ears, ringing in his head.

Every time the sky would be dark red, lightning flashed across the dark clouds looming above. Thunder boomed as the boy yelped and huddered in a corner, shutting his ears from the loud noise that was going to split his ears. The strong gale of wind howled, so strong that it might blow his whole self away. Allen's eyes widened as he slowly walked up to the pond that was located in the garden, but the different thing was, the water was not crystal clear but black in colour. The black milky liquid bubbled sometimes, and this eerie feeling just gave him the shivers.

Suddenly, he saw someone inside the water. That person's body was long, and his hair was scattered all over, fluttering slowly towards the rhythm of the small water waves. He could not see how he looked like properly due to the colour of the water, but something caught his eye as he saw a hand slightly above, floating between the water ripples. At the wrist lay a bracelet, shimmering in a faint light. It was as if it was a possession of that person. Something that meant...important to him.

"That person..." Allen muttered as he covered one part of his face, tears streaming down his face. Somehow anguish just gripped him and he felt like to cry. That person looked so beautiful in the reflection of the moonlight, reflecting his muscles on his chest as his hair swept across his bare body again and again. Allen could not bear with this anymore and buried his face in his hands, screaming.

The sound of the tapping water gradually stopped as the teen turned off the shower. At the rack where the shampoos were kept, a drop of water slowly rolled down the container and fell onto the wet ground, creating a crisp sound. Allen pulled the door open as he grabbed a towel hanging at the side and started drying himself. He looked at the mirror as drips of water escaped from the soft wet strands, travelling down his bare chest. He tilted his eyes as he grimaced, seeing the same figure smiling at him. Everywhere he went, whenever there was something that could reflect, that person would always be there, waving at him. The boy hissed as he turned away and walked out of the washroom, leaving a trail of water behind. The soft white towel slowly fluttered onto the floor tiles as Allen felt for the zip on his uniform and started pulling up to his upper chest. He took a deep breath as he blew his hair and combed it neatly.

"Allen!" Allen blinked as he heard Lavi's voice from the golem.

Lavi? What is it?" There were fits of giggles and laughter heard as Allen frowned. Well, he could not expect much from that bunny.

"Come to the canteen, and I tell you something!"

"Can it be trusted?" Allen asked. He was not going to be fooled again. The last time he was invited by this rabbit somewhere to help him in some task and it ended up in running away from his life from the raging samurai who was slashing his Mugen everywhere. At the thought of this Allen sweatdropped. He did not want to take any risk again, especially not on Kanda.

"Ahahaaa! Don't worry Allen! This time I won't let you do anything on Yuu. Just come and you will know." Allen just sighed as he closed the door behind him and proceeded to the cafeteria to grab a bite. The golden golem fluttered left and right as the white-haired teen greeted to any Finders and people that he bypassed. It had become a habit and it just brightened up his day seeing people's smiles. A growl was heard as Allen felt his stomach and grinned sheepishly. His pace quickened as he wanted to taste Jerry's delicious food in the early morning. As he pushed the doors and entered the canteen, a sweet aroma waffled in the air and he closed his eyes, relaxing himself. He then looked across and saw the grinning rabbit waving at him. Lenalee, Krory, Chaoji and Miranda were sitting with him too. Allen smiled as he ran to join them.

"Yo Allen!"

"So what thing you want to tell me Lavi?" Allen asked, feeling his stomach and eyeing at where Jerry was, paying no attention to the older teen. Lavi knew that Allen was hungry as he laughed and spoke.

"Well Allen you can go and buy your breakfast first!" Everybody laughed as the teen flushed and excused himself before rushing to where Jerry was, ordering a large mountain of food as usual in large servings. The teen walked back to the table and began gobbling all the food laden, smiling in content. Everyone just stared in awe as the boy still had good appetite as ever even after the battle in Edo. The vampire exorcist was eyeing at the jam cakes. The thick red paste just activated his crave for blood as he started to drool a little, showing the devil side of him.

"K-Krory-san...you..." Chaoji just stammered, clattering his teeth in fear. Krory did not hear this as he spoke, his gaze still fixed on his food.

"Allen, you don't mind if I take one?" Allen chewed between mouthfuls as he nodded his head. Krory grinned, showing his shiny fangs of teeth as he crunched onto the soft pastry, munching. His face brightened as he cried out.

"Oh this cake is so delicious! I have never tasted this type of food before in my life! It just tastes so...heavenly!"

"Krory, you did not eat cake in your castle before?" Allen asked, gulping down the cup of water beside him. Lavi waved his hands as he spoke.

"Sa I don't think so. I doubt there are anything in that old castle except those flowers..." He stopped as he gulped, sweatdropping. Allen stopped eating immediately as he felt like puking. Remembering those incidents just kind of freaked them out. Till now Allen could not believe that General Cross Marian, his master, even had these type of flowers under his possessions.

"These days are rather quiet. The Earl has no actions yet and the Noah family has not shown up since the battle in Edo." Everyone couldn't help but agree to this. It had been two weeks since they had destroyed the Egg that the Millennium Earl used to produce akumas and the Black Order received no more news on the signs of them. It was as if they had disappeared into midair suddenly. Allen clenched his fist. Whatever plans that they were plotting against them, they would not be crushed easily by them. All of them would survive this battle. All of them.

"_Sa, I wonder how the ending would be like for all of you exorcists..." _Allen tensed up immediately at this familiar voice.

"Allen-kun?" Lenalee spoke, puzzled. The white teen just shook his head.

"No, nothing Lenalee." He peered at the empty plates with some of the food remains left. As he took a bread and bit on it, his thoughts drifted back to what the Fourteenth had said to him on earlier after the battle with the level 4.

(recall)

"_Listen. The war has just only begun. I am very sure that the Millennium Earl would have even more torturous ways to deal with all of you. This is not going to be easy, my boy. I know that fat man's character in out. Can you defeat him, Allen?"_

(End of recall)

It might be true on the surface that they could not beat the Millennium Earl and the Noah family, but no one knew the outcome unless they tried. The enemy might be strong, but everyone had a weakness, so they would surely have one that existed, and this would be the crux into ending this battle that had started decades ago. He believed, in his heart, that God would surely help them if He wanted this to end.

"Ne Allen..." Lavi whispered as he put his hand over the teen's shoulders, pulling him closer to him. Allen cringed as he was a little uncomfortable with the older teen so close to him.

"W-What, Lavi?" The redhead gave a sly grin as Allen gulped. He regretted coming here to meet Lavi now.

"Allen, can you help me in something?" The white teen almost choked himself when he heard that.

"Not another task of yours again?!?" He wailed, trying to break free, but Lavi's hands were simply too strong and he could not get out of his grasps. He that glanced at Lenalee and the others, giving them a pleading look, hoping that they could help him out of this. Lenalee sighed as she stared at the redhead sternly.

"Lavi, don't joke around with Allen this time. Last time it was screwed up badly and Allen was almost killed by Kanda!" Allen nodded his head vigorously, agreeing totally. Lavi showed his index finger and shook it, disagreeing with them.

"That one is different. It was a prank on Yuu, but today I really need the help from you Allen..." The rabbit gave Allen the puppy eyes, but Allen just stared at him with no expression on his face, not wavered by him. He had been deceived many times and there was no hell way that he would get fooled again! Lavi was going to burst into tears as no one was going to help him into persuading the white teen to help him.

"N-No way...jiji is gotta kill me for sure...if I do not finish it on time...please Allen!"

"Then go and finish it now, Lavi." Allen deadpanned. The poor bunny was trying his last resorts into pulling Allen to help him. Allen gasped softly as he saw someone behind the doors of the cafeteria, coming in. It was none other than Howard Link and he did not want to do a stack of surveys and tests on himself again. He grabbed onto Lavi's wrist as he called out to his friends.

"U-Uh, me and Lavi have something to do now, so see you all later!" Before Lavi could stand properly, he was being pulled somewhere again as the two boys disappeared. As the group wondered what had happened, the doors opened and the golden-haired teen was in view, looking around for the sight of the white-haired teen. Lenalee tilted her eyes, knowing very well why Allen had chosen to leave with Lavi instead. She was greatly relieved when they did not get to find him.

"You. Have you seen Allen Walker?" Chaoji gave a cold stare at the guard who just spat his saliva all over the table. Krory just ignored him while Miranda, who was the one being questioned, stammered as she stared at Lenalee, wishing that she could guide her in this. Lenalee shook her head, telling her silently that she must not reveal where Allen had gone to. The woman gulped as she nodded her head and turned to face the guard, who was glaring at her. She trembled slightly as she raised her shaky hand and pointed to a direction.

"T-T-There..." The guard turned to others who nodded their heads and they rushed off. Link took a bow and thanks them before leaving the cafeteria.

"W-Will Allen-san be alright?" Chaoji spoke softly. Lenalee looked at where Allen had actually gone to and sighed. Now it depended on his fate.

Lavi and Allen entered the library, where Bookman was there, reading a book as usual, recording the history into the records of the bookman clan. He peered up at the two boys and then to Lavi only, tilting his eyes.

"Lavi, have you finished what I have instructed you to do?" Lavi made a face and patted Allen's shoulders.

"Allen is going to help me! Surely he cannot help jiji? There are really too much stuffs here for me to clear!" The old man just raised his eyebrow before he cleared his throat and resumed in his reading. Lavi jumped in delight and pulled Allen to an area where there was a huge mountain of books and papers all over the floor. Allen groaned, wondering why he was following redhead to here in the first place.

On second thoughts, it was better than staying with Link who would keep staring at him wherever he went. This just gave him the creeps as he was glad to have the time without seeing that secretary and that inspector's faces for a while. His heart sank to the bottom as he stared at the pile of junk on the floor before staring at Lavi, who was rolling up his sleeves, ready to start. Allen sighed. It would be a long day today. As the boy started clearing up the mess, he looked around the library. It was the first time he had entered this room and frankly speaking, he was amazed by the structure of the room. God, it was so big that it could fill up at least ten thousand books and papers here! This place was rather cosy and quiet for one to sit down and settle himself with a book. Lavi was zooming back and forth on the movable ladder which could reach up to twenty bookshelves. He was fully efficient as he could carry at least a hundred books at a time. Well, he was one of the members of the bookman after all, thus he must have the gene inside him.

Allen picked up the thick books and coughed when the dust flew out in between the pages and the cover, choking him as his lungs was squeezing for oxygen. He sneezed several times till his nose was red and itchy. This showed that these books must be kept here for quite a long time, seeing how much dust had accumulated. As he stacked up these books to prepare to give them to Lavi later, he found upon a book that caught his eye. He put down the stack and took the book, opening its cover. On the first page showed just a sketching on a particular type of flower with some seeds beside it. Allen gasped as his eyes widened, recognising that small white beads immediately. The scene where he saw that person wearing the same bracelet with these white beads flashed in his mind once again.

"Lavi, what is this?" Lavi blinked as he pulled the ladder to the edge of the huge bookshelf and hopped down, staring at the picture that Allen was pointing at. He then laughed as he explained.

"That is a lotus, and those are the seeds. Why?" Allen just shook his head.

"Nothing. It just interests me." Lavi just gave a smile before he took the stack of books on the floor and resumed in his work. Allen just stood there, peering at this picture. That image of the bracelet just could not get off his mind. Who was that person in that dream, and why did he had a bracelet that was made of lotus seeds? Did he know the person in the beginning?

"Allen. Allen!" Allen blinked as Lavi's finger snapped in front of him. Bookman glanced at them from the back of the couch. Lavi sighed.

"Allen, you space out. This picture really attracts you that much?" Allen smiled as he shook his head. He took the last few documents with him and walked to the bookshelf.

"Bookman, do you mind I borrow this book for a while? I will return to the library tomorrow." Bookman just stared at the thick book he was holding.

"Actually, I am thinking of how to dispose this book, Allen. If you want, you may keep it." Allen's eyes brightened up as he gratefully thanked the old man.

"But then sa, why do you need this book for?" Allen just smiled.

"Let's finish our work shall we?" Lavi just gave a puzzled look, totally not understanding what this boy was thinking.

"I really do not know where Allen-kun has gone to." Komui explained as many guards were surrounding his small office. Reever and the other scientists stood aside while the inspector slammed his hand hardly on the desk, sending papers flying onto the ground.

"Don't kid me, Komui. Tell me where Allen Walker is! You know very well what the consequences are if you are hiding a criminal!" Everyone grimaced at what Leverrier had said. Now Allen was classified as a 'criminal' and not an exorcist. He was treated like one already, having no freedom to do what he wanted.

"Allen..." Tap sniffed as Reever hugged him, comforting him. At this moment, no one was going to believe Allen again due to some conditions that no one wished for it to happen either, but they did not know that word could travel that fast that the Vatican had already gotten the news on this. Komui just sighed, denial on this.

"Inspector Leverrier, I really do not know where Allen-kun is. If he really escapes, the Ark should have disappeared by now, but apparently, the Ark is still there! So therefore you cannot jump into conclusions that I am the one who keeps him here! And furthermore, the space here is so small! Where could I have possibly kept him?" The inspector took out the cigarette in his mouth and just glared at the Chinese man for his comments on him.

"Leverrier..." Lenalee muttered under her breath as she clenched her fists. Since that incident she told herself that she would never, ever forgive this man for doing harmful things on her and the others who were being experimented. He was the man who just treated humans-exorcists like they were nothing but servants to follow the orders of the Vatican! To him, exorcists were just nothing but lives to be sacrificed in times of war, treating them like pawns.

"Unforgivable..." She gritted her teeth in anger. Now they were not discussing nicely with her brother but forcing him to admit that he had told Allen to escape. He and the Vatican's stupid tricks! She swore that she would not let them off if they did something to her friends and family in this Order. One of the guards seemed to have noticed her presence as he turned around. Lenalee held her breath and hid behind a wall, careful not to reveal herself as she shut her eyes. After 5minutes when she heard no signs of footsteps, she turned around quietly and listened to their conversation. She must do something that would not harm her brother or Allen.

"So? You expect us to wait for him here? That boy has his routines and checks everyday scheduled by us! He will be charged as heresy if he does not appear today! Daring to escape, I supposed he has the guts to face the music."

"I'm here, and stop saying such things to Komui." Everyone turned around to see Allen at the door. Lenalee gasped as the boy was beside her.

"Allen-kun, what are you doing?!? They are here to claim you!" Lenalee exclaimed.

"Oh, Lenalee, you are here too. And I supposed you are eavesdropping our conversation here as well?" Lenalee hissed softly as she glared at the other. Allen stared coldly at the inspector and spoke.

"This is none of Lenalee's business, Inspector Leverrier. So I supposed we shall not waste other people's time here?" Leverrier just grunted in reply.

"That is a good answer from you for the first time, Allen Walker." Allen did not reply as the guards and the men walked out of the door. Allen looked at Lenalee and gave her hand a tight squeeze.

"It will be okay, Lenalee. Don't worry." Lenalee stared at the boy as their hands gradually separated. The girl just peered at the back view of the white teen as the whole lot disappeared. She then looked at Komui who gave her a grim look. At such cases her brother could not help too. She closed her eyes and prayed, hoping that Allen would be alright.

"Eh, this is not the survey room...isn't it, Link-san?" He and the group stopped at one of the black towers. There were no windows till the top floor, and it seemed to be isolated from the main building. A cold breeze blew past as Allen pulled his exorcist coat closer to himself, generating warm.

"Yes, this is not the survey room alright." Link replied as the door slowly opened. A stench waffled out that made him nauseous. Several people with white robes were standing there, seeming to be welcoming him in. Allen stared at the darkness ahead, hesitant to go in. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Link, a-am I supposed to go in? What are these people? Why am I here?" Those creepy peoples standing there just smiled as they approached him and pushed him into the building.

"Allen, they are going to be in charged of studying your Innocence and the Noah inside you, finding out reasons why your Innocence still can work even though the Noah is inside you. Don't worry, you will be able to go back into your room after a six-hour section inside." The secretary's view was getting smaller and smaller as the door was shut, silence filled the cold air. The teen just glanced at the blank sky before he returned to the headquarters.

"Where...am I?" Allen's eyes squinted at the glaring headlights in front of him. Whispers could be heard around him. He was surrounded in white light and this made him hard t see clearly. He groaned slightly as he stared at the machines and the stuffs needed for experiments. Some were looking into the documents, others were discussing within themselves and some were preparing the stuffs that they needed, particularly one that was flicking on a syringe that had a big, fat needle attached to it. Allen gulped as he stared around the room. It was dimly-lit and everywhere looked so spooky to him. Where the hell he was? He just wanted to get out of here. The smell, the people, everything just made him sick this instant.

"Walker, look here." Allen turned to where the voice was calling him, but he regretted at that instant as that person put something over his mouth. He inhaled a large amount of air that smelled weird and in seconds, his head was spinning dizzily. In his faded vision, he could see some lips moving slightly and soft murmurings ringing in his ears before his vision dimmed and everything turned black.

"Che." A guard stared at an incoming exorcist who emerged from the Ark's gate. The raven hair flew slightly before resting gently on his back. An Innocence was shimmering in his hand as he glared at the guard and began his way to the Chinese man's office. He sighed.

Everything just annoyed him greatly.


	3. Lost

**Slowly Fading**

**Rated : T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything belonging to DGM DD:**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Lost**

Screams.

They hollered through the air, their shrieking cries piercing in all directions, their high-pitched voices singing painfully. They wished to be heard; they wanted to be heard; they seek to be heard.

Their horrifying, monotone chantings could drive one crazy, lose one's sanity, and torture your whole being till you could not think properly. They continued to haunt you, no matter where you were, no matter how you escape, because their bloodshot eyes would always be fixed upon you, their heavy gazes burnt deep into your raw skin, eating away all your flesh and sent shocks to your nerves, travelling through your whole body system, till you felt that for that particular one second, you thought that your soul had abandoned its container.

And it happened...in that boy's head.

-

_He woke up, finding himself standing in the middle of the darkness instead of lying on the white bed in the laboratory. Dark walls surrounded him everywhere, the heavy air making him hard to breathe. Other than that, there was nothing found in the dimension he was in now. Nothing, only his faint shadow cast on the ground, swimming in the pitch-black area. He heard soft, low rumblings ahead, as something seemed to be there. He then realised that he was not alone._

_Out of a sudden, seams of white matter appeared out of nowhere, circling around him. Its white face resembled a clown, it turned to him and showed a sweet grin on his face, approaching him._

**_Allen..._**

_Get...Get away from me!_

**_Why?_**

_Get away! Get away from me!_

**_Why are you running away from me, Allen? Why did you reject me that much? Why?_**

_Stop talking to me! I want to get out of here!_

**_You cannot escape from me, Allen. You never will._**

_Help! Help me! Just anyone...help me!_

**_And no one would be able to save you, because this is the world of black and white, the place where only you and I exist._**

_No! There is only me! Who the hell are you?!? Get out!_

**_And you cannot chase me out either, because I live within you. Without me, you cannot exist._**

_Why...Why..._

**_Now, throw yourself into despair, and accept me! I will make you stronger, and allow you to control forbidden powers, which others have chased it for many years in their lives! With it, you are invincible! No one would be able to defeat you anymore! Not even the Millennium Earl!_**

_Shut up..._

**_What? Are you wavering? Accept me now, Allen, and all your wishes will all come true!_**

_Shut up..._

**_Why are you hesitating? Just let me take over your body and it will be done!_**

_Shut up..._

**_With my powers, you can even revive your precious Mana! Isn't this what you want? Right, Allen?_**

_I tell you to shut up this instant!_

_He screamed, as the whole place started to collapse immediately. The white matter also started to fade away, and be forgotten._

_But what he could not forget, was his touch on his sensitive skin. It was warm, but yet it brought an evil burning sensation that could devour everything in its way. _

**_You may have rejected me now, but I am certain that you will come and seek for me again, Allen._**

**_After all, the bond between us will never be broken easily._**

_**See you then, my dear cute container...**_

* * *

"He is almost connected with the Fourteenth in him, Sir."

"Good. Keep this going. I will be waiting for your good news." The young man wearing a white coat bowed deeply before he left his position and resumed his work. Leverrier felt his rough chin with his fingers as he looked around. Everyone, who was wearing the same white laboratory uniform, were running from place to place, busily analysing the data that they had obtained by their experiments and writing reports on the results that they had gotten. These data would be processed by the Higher-Ups, who would decide on whether which one would benefit the Order's activities in the future.

The inspector stared at the silent one lying on the bed. Slowly, a smirk was seen on his wrinkled face.

"Inspector?" He turned to find Link standing behind him, just finished his day of paperwork. The youngster just bowed in respect to the other, before he turned to the boy and stared at him for moments.

"Are you sure this is okay, Inspector? Wouldn't it be dangerous if we...speed up his awakening?" Leverrier's smirk just began wider as he replied:

"Isn't that good? This is my original aim in the first place." The inspector collected some files as he left the laboratory, with the secretary following him behind. As they reached the main door and opened it, a shrill pierced through the thin freezing air, echoing through the entire empty corridor. Link stopped in his tracks and looked back, feeling a foreign series of shivers travelling all over his body. His deep brown eyes narrowed.

"Something wrong, Link?" He turned to the other, who was waiting for him outside. He shook his head.

"Nothing."

* * *

Lenalee was at the library, browsing for books to read regarding more information of the Innocence. She walked from shelf to shelf, picking up any books that she thought would help her obtain more understanding about this mysterious green crystal. The books accumulated in her trolley, almost to the extent of overflowing, before she realised that she was not even paying attention to what she was doing.

She was worried. For Allen.

Shuffles of feet filled the silent room, as everyone was constantly moving around, but she remained at her position for a couple of minutes, her thoughts travelled back to the silver-haired boy's face expression. She remembered, that Allen was having a reassuring smile on his pale face when he started to leave, but something was wrong. Something was definite wrong here.

A lady was standing beside her, taking a book from the higher shelf. The height was a little too high for her as she tried to grasp for the book, only to let the book slip by her hand. Her gaze trailed down, and slowly widened in horror, as the book was heading directly at Lenalee's head.

"Miss! Miss!" She tried to call her, but she received none. Lenalee continued to stand there, as the inevitable accident was soon going to happen.

"Lenalee! Look out!" She felt a push. It was swift, but gentle. Gentle, or was it because she could not feel anything anymore?

_**SLAM. **_The reality returned to her, as she realised what had truly happened. The lady across her was so shocked and stunned that she fell onto the floor and cried with her both hands covering her white face. Beside her, the overflowing books had collapsed and fell onto the floor as well. This had attracted a crowd, as many people just peered inside, wondering what had happened.

Whispers drowned the thin, peaceful air circulating the library. It was getting noiser, as she wished inwardly for them to stop talking and leave her alone. The irritating sound buzzed rather painfully into her ears, and her mind started to spin in circles. Many images of Allen started to appear, and the colour of her eyes began to fade.

"What's wrong, Lavi?!?" Miranda and Krory went to them, when Lenalee's eyes faded and gradually closed, losing her consciousness. Their eyes widened in shock.

"Lenalee!!"

* * *

"My Lenalee! What has happened to my Lenaaaaleeeeee?!?" The loud wails could be heard thousands of metres away from the infirmary, as Komui charged into the room with loud footsteps and slammed open the door, searching around for his precious little sister. Many were startled - patients, doctors and nurses, as they glared at him hardly for disrupting the peaceful environment here. The Supervisor earnt a hard smack on his head by the Head Nurse seconds later for making a loud din.

"What do you think you are doing, disturbing my patients here from resting, Supervisor Komui Lee?!?"

"Where's my Lenalee? Where is she?!?" _Slap. _Another hard smack for him.

"Look at who's talking to you, mister! Don't even make a whisper in the infirmary, you understand me? And as for Lenalee Lee, she may be too stressed or exhausted, which resulted in the fainting. Her room is right over there," The Head Nurse pointed to a particular direction. Komui nodded his head quickly and was about to fly over to his sister's side when he was pulled back again by the angry-looking Head Nurse.

"Remember, _no _noise from you."

Lavi watched this from the room and looked away, sighing in resignation. Miranda and Krory just forced out a smile, wondering whether they should laugh or cry at this.

"Jeez, must Komui _embarrass _us with his childish acts everytime?" The redhead muttered, before turning to look at the olive-haired girl who was lying on bed, taking drips. The door opened a little quieter than before, as Komui entered the room and went to Lenalee's side immediately, grasping onto her hand.

"Please give me your seat." Komui turned to Lavi and gave him a threatening stare.

"Wh-What?" Before Lavi could even say further, he was thrown off and Komui sat on it, content. The bookman junior just landed on the cold floor hardly, as he cursed Komui deeply in his mind.

"Please don't mind Komui-san. He is very worried about Lenalee after all," Krory explained as he helped Lavi up. Lavi just frowned as he folded his arms, but this did not matter. Now he was more worried about Lenalee, who was acting weird these days.

"What happened exactly?" Komui turned to them and asked.

"I saw Lenalee standing there motionlessly, like she was hesitating on whether to take out this particular book or not." Lavi explained. " Then all of a sudden, a book as thick as a dictionary was falling onto her head. The lady and I tried to call her, but she did not seem to hear us. When I managed to pull her closer to me..."

Komui's eye seemed to have twitched instantly, but Lavi did not notice it and continued:

"...Lenalee seems to be dazed, and after a few minutes later, she became like that."

"I see. Did she say anything to you?" Lavi shook his head in reply. It would be even better if Lenalee could actually speak to him about what was bothering her lately.

"Lenalee..." Miranda looked at her with worry. A gentle pat was felt on her shoulders as she turned to Krory, who gave her a comforting smile.

"Don't worry, she will be alright." Miranda smiled back.

"I hope so."

* * *

_"Erm...I'm sorry, Komui is currently unavailable right now, so perhaps you can come by here later, Kanda?"_

Che. Where the hell was Komui again? Maybe he had died under some garbage, decomposed beyond recognition, or maybe he had snuck into his experimental room to make those useless and irritating machines, whose beautiful names were called 'Komurin' - or rather, _Komurins_, his stunning work of art. To that idiotic Supervisor who thought that his works were splendid, successful, and _flawless_, he considered them as an utter failure. With those crazy machines having Komui's mad personalities hovering around the Order freely, everyone would know that doomsday had finally arrived.

And what? _Flawless_? Did he even classify Komui's experiments as _flawless_? Not even a _fat chance_.

Kanda threw that useless Supervisor out of his head as he walked towards his room. He had spent a whole two months outside with a rather stupid Finder who brought him to the wrong destination. Worse still, that damn Komui had forgotten to reserve a place at an inn for him to rest, leaving him to sleep in the wilderness for many freezing nights. And it was even more _pleasant _when he had to get stuck with that same stupid Finder together in a sleeping bag, because thinking that there would always be an inn to sleep, he did not even bother to bring one, though that tinest possibility had happened. That irritating one kept pestering him to sleep with him, no matter how much he did not want to.

_Kanda-dono, lean closer to my body. This way, you will feel warmer._

Kanda's eye twitched as a vein popped out of his forehead instantly, but gradually, he felt sick as the food that had been digested days ago started to churn uncomfortably in his sickly stomach, as his face turned blue immediately. The raven stopped by a pillar and groaned softly under his lips, wondering why must he remember that particular sentence at the wrong moment. Everyone would certainly gag out in huge laughter when they imagined the process of that samurai whose pride got stamped on terribly. At this thought, Kanda growled. He would never let this happen. Not till he was dead.

He took a deep breath and continued on his way. Distracting his mind with a hot plate of soba he was going to consume later, he heard a shout ahead. At first he thought that the person was calling to someone else, and did not bother to reply, but when the stranger was getting nearer to him, he realised that he was no stranger, and his face colour melted away instantly.

Why must God torture him this way?!?

"Kanda-dono!" That Finder ran up to him, having sweats on his forehead as his cheeks were reddened. Kanda wondered what exactly had happened.

"What's wrong?"

The Finder continued to pant as he rummaged something out from his bag, and gave it to Kanda.

"I...forgot to...give this back to...you." The raven peered, and to his horror, was his white bracelet. He then looked at his wrist and found none attached to his hand. Seeing Kanda's face darkened every second, the perspiring Finder searched desperately for a reasonable and valid answer to prove his innocence.

"E-Erm, I found it on the rock at the waterfall! That time when I was waiting for my turn, I accidentally found this bracelet which I remembered to be yours..." The dark red colour on the raven's face seemed to have lessened a little as the samurai's frown just deepened.

"Then after a few minutes, you stepped out of the waters, finishing your bath. Seeing that you did not attempt to come back and retrieve your bracelet, I tried to call you, but you did not hear me. And later, I tried to chase after you..." A choking cough was heard next, as Kanda almost stumbled and collapsed onto the ground, his face was so surprisingly white that it was beyond description. He felt his blood slowly seep out of his body the moment his explanation started, and he almost threw up when he saw an undenying light pink blush appearing at his face. Seriously, what the fuck was he actually thinking?

For now, he needed to get away. _Fast_.

Kanda started to walk away.

"Kanda-dono?" The young Finder turned and looked at him in bewilderment, but Kanda did not look back. He absolutely could not turn back and stare at him. The raven counted the steps that he had taken while calming down his heart which was beating faster and faster every second. It was so hard maintaining this type of posture, as he wondered why was this pavement becoming so long and endless all of a sudden. Seeing that right turn leading to the dormatory of the Exorcists, he turned immediately and hurried over a distance before he slowed down his pace and stopped for a while, catching his breath.

He turned and looked around, making sure that the pervert who even dared to peek at him in the waters did not follow him behind like a stalker. He did not know why he had called the Finder a 'stalker' when it was so obvious that he was not stalking him, but hey, this was Kanda we were talking about. It just made sense to him. If he thought that this was right, it would be right, though people would mostly disagree with him for having such senseless principles.

_Kanda-dono..._

Kanda's hair stood on ends immediately. He chased away the eerie voice that had been haunting him, clearing those absurd thoughts in his head. He started to walk, finally had the peaceful moments all to himself.

"Yuu!" A vein popped out of his head. Maybe not yet.

He turned around and saw Lavi running towards him.

"Yuu-chaaaaannn! You are back from your...mission?" Lavi slowed down his pace towards the samurai as he saw an unknown dark aura emitting out of Kanda's body, wondering whether it was not a good time to talk to him.

"What?" He snapped.

"Er, no...just wonder where Allen is. He has been away for a few hours."

_Allen? What has that moyashi got to do with me? _Kanda thought, his frown deepened. He just wanted to go back to his room, have a nice warm shower, and stay in his room for the rest of the day. And everywhere he went, he always got disruptions!

"So I wonder if you have the time to accompany me to find Allen - " Lavi's eyes widened and he zipped his mouth immediately, seeing a foreign blade pointing dangerously at his throat. His both hands just raised up automatically, looking at the raven fearfully who was glaring angrily at him.

"I don't care whether that damn moyashi has committed suicide or drowned into the pond at the garden - "

"Really?!? Allen has committed suicide?!? Drowned in the pond?!?" Kanda's warning hiss entered his ears, and Lavi made the wise decision of shutting up immediately, in order to prevent disastrous accidents from happening.

"Whatever that midget's business is, is _none of my business_. I just want to _rest _after a string of...annoying _incidents _happened. So get out of my way, and don't disturb me," Kanda finished, giving Lavi a glint in his dark sapphire eyes that he meant it. He started to walk away, but was followed and pestered by the redhead who kept tugging the sides of his Exorcist coat.

"But then this is really important! Allen has been taken away by that Leverrier and his men, and I just have a very bad feeling about it!" Lavi exclaimed, trying to persuade the raven to listen to his words while avoiding the slaps from the samurai. Kanda's face expression seemed to have changed slightly as he stopped, his eyes narrowed at him.

"And? What are we supposed to do when we see that moyashi being kidnapped by them or something?"

"But we can't just ignore the slightest possibility that this might happen!" The bookman junior grimaced as Kanda just grabbed his collar up roughly and glared hardly at him.

"I do not give a damn on what happens to him. It is very normal for people to suspect him when he is starting to act as though he has split personalities! You know, mental disorder?!?"

"Wh-What?" Lavi's voice quivered shakily, staring into his eyes with astonishment. Kanda grunted as he released Lavi from the grip, causing the other to stumble onto the ground, gasping for oxygen.

"Yuu, what did you say?" He went to the raven and shook him, but received no reply from the other. Annoyed, he went to his front and tried to lift up his head, but was slapped away by by his sheathed Mugen as Kanda gave him a death glare before he walked away, not wanting to be questioned by that redhead again. Kanda looked at the ceilings above, before hissing in frustration and muttered something under his breath.

To his slight surprise, Lavi did not pursue him after that.

* * *

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Where...was he?_

He felt the walls. The cold stung his sensitive skin from his pale hands, travelling painfully through the nerves, but he did not care. He felt heavy and hungry, and he could not see rather clearly, but he continued to move forward, even if he had to push his body forcefully, which was already at its limit.

He refused to give up. He refused to concede defeat to the one who was working so hard for its freedom. Being caged in this container for many years to remember, he was sick of facing the darkness, wanting to surface as soon as possible. He wanted to inhale the fresh air, and stretched his rusty legs and arms that had not been used for a very long time. And when he had got used to this container, he would use it...for his very own purposes.

"I won't...let you...succeed...won't...let you...succeed..." He breathed heavily, clutching his shirt near his chest tightly. His legs felt as if he was pulling a few kilograms of weight attached to them. He could hear nothing, as roars of hysterical laughter were all that he heard in his mind, singing in a rather sweet lullaby. He laughed, scorned, mocked and humiliated him with his crackled voice, and it was so disturbing that his whole skull was going to burst, but somehow, he knew that he had to keep going.

He slowly looked up, and found himself in a rather familiar place. Dismissing the thought of figuring out where he was due to his splitting headache, he decided to go to where his feet would bring him to.

Ahead, he saw someone. It was rather pitch-dark, and he could not see anything, but he was sure he saw someone in front of him.

_**Sleep, Allen.**_

"No...can't..."

_**Sleep, Allen. Sleep.**_

"Can't...can't..." His gaze was glued firmly at the particular stranger ahead, and he knew that he just could not lose him from his sight. He counted the steps, and the time that had been ticking away. He was closer, so close to the target that he was going for.

So...close...

_Thud. _He fell onto the ground, unconscious. He had reached his target, but never did he know that this very stranger was the one whom he knew all along.

"Moyashi?"

* * *

I know, I know. I have finally updated the latest chapter of this story 'Slowly Fading' . I just have the feeling of updating, so I thought of this chapter and type it down for three days, before posting it here. Haha, it has been very looooonnngggg time since I update it, so please be kind readers, and review my very new chapter after you read it. Give me opinions on how good my writing fares, will ya?

DDD: Just review, please.

Thanks, and have a great day! Next chapter on 'Tears of Moonlight' would be posted in about a few couple of hours' time, so please look forward to it! :DDD

_ps And I think that this chapter sounds more humorous than being angsty DDD: For Kanda's part only :DDD_

Out.

SingingBlues.


	4. Whispers

**Chapter 4: Whispers  
**

_'And when is there time to remember, to sift, to weigh, to estimate, to total?' _

_- Tillie Olsen_

* * *

_xxThe Lotus Flowerxx  
_

He opened his eyes, seeing someone sitting quietly by the fireplace, throwing small logs to feed the fire. The whole place was dim, and it seemed somewhat familiar. His vision blurred, and the pain hammered hardly on his head for every few seconds.

"Allen."

He felt the ground with his hands. It felt slightly roughly and hairy, like a typical carpet. The room he was in smelt like fresh lavander, so soothing and nice refreshing as he took a deep breath, calming his body which had been trembling for a while ever since he escaped from that prison room...

"Allen."

The voice seemed...somewhat familiar as well. It led him to imagine a particular caring adult that he had known since he was very young. He struggled to sit up, forcing his eyes to open widely as he could see that person at the fireplace more closely. As his vision started to clear up, silver eyes slowly widened at the sight shown to him.

The soft background music in the room continued to play. His mouth opened, but no words came out. He couldn't describe his current feelings when facing this situation which seemed impossible, but he was here. Mana was here, right in front of him. He did not know how he came here from the start, but it didn't matter. He was just here, and it was more than enough.

"Mana.." He murmured, slowly getting up and walking to his side. That familiar smile which comforted him whenever he had difficulties always never failed to make him feel safe and secure once again. The adult gestured him to come as he spread his arms wide, wanting him to come into his embrace. Allen just stared silently. He had been desiring for this for a very long time till he could remember, and the wish had finally come true. Mana was here, and he did not need to worry anymore. All his frustrations would be gone in an instant, the Noah would not pester him anymore, and everything would end.

"Come to me, Allen."

He smiled. This was the best ending.

_What do you think you are doing?_

Allen stiffened as he stopped, looking around. This definitely sounded like Kanda's voice.

_You are just running away from your problems! As I thought, you are weak._

He slowly laughed softly, looking at the ground. Why did Kanda's voice come to him at this particular moment? Somehow, his remarks really hurt.

"Come to me, Allen."

Mana's voice echoed in the room as his arms remained open, waiting for him to come. Allen turned to him and was about to take a step when he heard another voice ringing in his head.

_We can do this together, Allen! Share your burden with us! Aren't we friends?_

This time, it was Lenalee's pleading voice. He wasn't sure what he should do now. One of him wished to return to them, yet Mana's sudden appearance was the perfect opportunity for everything to return back to its original place. Frankly, he was already too exhausted. All these wars and bloodsheds in the human world...he was already sick of it. Once he believed in this prophecy that his own strength could save many lives, but as time went on, after seeing so many deaths of innocent people who were once alive, he realised that this was taking forever. When would be the time he would be able to kill the Millennium Earl for good and end all these? Exactly how many people needed to be sacrificed in order to end this war?

"I'm sorry," He murmured softly, before turning to Mana. The courage that he once had had already burnt out long ago. What that remained was emptiness and a tinge of growing fear that he might kill another person with his own hands. After all, he was just a weapon and an Exorcist.

_**Yes.**_

"I'm sorry." His head was downcast, before he lifted his head and stared at Mana. Ever since he died because of him, he had been regretting since. Now, he did not want to make a decision that was going to make him regret again.

_**Go on.**_

"Come, Allen." The figure whispered, his smile spreading across his clown face. As he stepped forward, the background music suddenly changed. He could only hear the faint sounds of piano keys playing melodiously, before a solo voice sang out.

_And then the little boy falls asleep  
Among the ashes in the flames shining..._

He suddenly felt lightheaded. Everything happening around him seemed to be blurry and unclear, and he couldn't differentiate whether it was reality or a mere dream. His lips moved by its own, and as he took a step, he started to sing as well.

_First one, then two..._

Many memories flashed across his mind, and his heart wrenched painfully. Still, he continued to sing from phrase to phrase, never stopping. It wasn't because he did not want to stop, but he couldn't.

_Surfaces numerous of your faces  
A thousand dreams  
trickle back to the earth_

"Please...please stop," He pleaded between phrases, begging everything to stop. Tears started streaming down his face uncontrollably, and he could not do anything to stop this. On the other hand, the figure of Mana who was always sitting there still had his smile on his face, never changing.

_On the night when the silver eyes were trembling,  
the shining you was born_

That gentle smile twisted into a grin that he couldn't recognise. Mana couldn't possibly...made that. And at that moment, his eyes slowly widened in shock and softened in regret.

_Across millions of years,  
let the prayers be returned back to the earth_

"Save me..." He silently cried, his heart twisting in pain.

_I will still continue to pray_

"Save me..."

_Please show this child what love is  
Hands sealed with a kiss_

* * *

_**It's too late.**_

* * *

"Still not responding?" Komui asked anxiously. Everyone in the infirmary was rushing all over the place, the doctors checking and monitoring the medical equipment while the nurses took out whatever medicines they could find.

"Komui Supervisor, it would be best if you could just stand outside and wait," The Head Nurse suggested as she walked together with him to the door and led him outside, before closing the door. The Chinese man just paced around with nervousness, fingering his hands repeatedly. It had to happen at this moment, when Bookman and Lavi were currently out.

"Niisan, how's Allen?" He heard loud footsteps as Lenalee approached the infirmary seconds later, grabbing his arms tightly. Her eyes seeked for answers, yet he couldn't give her any.

"He is still inside." She slowly turned, seeing Kanda standing by the wall. She slowly released her hands as they drooped to the sides of her body. Komui got hold of her hand and gave it a tight squeeze, telling her that everything was going to be alright. It was the only thing that he could give to his sister right now, though the situation would be very unpredictable inside.

It wasn't even certain whether Allen could regain consciousness. The poor boy had been drained completely after a series of experiments and tests that had been conducted from scientists only belonging to the Vatican, just to prove that he was the container that the Fourteenth chose. It was just simply stupid. After all, what could they get from this? They were only creating a new enemy and getting rid of a very competent Exorcist. Yet, he had to understand their point that Allen did prove to be the greatest threat because with the combined powers of his Innocence which had gone beyond the limit of 100% and the Fourteenth's powers, he would probably be the most difficult enemy that the Order would face. However, he wondered whether the Innocence would be affected by the opposite powers of the Noah and slowly devolve. If it would, then Allen's future state would be far worse than the current situation he was in.

He sighed, and for the first time, he prayed sincerely to God to save Allen.

"Komui," Komui turned to Kanda who called for him.

"Yes, Kanda-kun?"

"What exactly is happening to that beansprout?" He asked. Lenalee was also staring at him, waiting for his reply. Komui bit his lip, not knowing what he should say. The rumours about Allen being part of the Noah Family had probably been spread out. He did not want to believe them, but after a short conversation with General Cross Marian, he wasn't so sure anymore.

"Well, he..."

Suddenly, the doors of the infirmary opened as the Head Hurse stepped out.

"How's Allen, Head Nurse?" Lenalee went to her immediately and asked. Kanda and Komui stepped up as well, waiting. She looked at them for a while, before letting out a sigh.

"Well, we manage to get him back.."

They heaved a great sigh of relief except Kanda, so glad that it was finally over. But it wasn't really worth celebrating when the Head Nurse's face expression still did not change.

"Tell us the whole situation, Head Nurse."

"He has been brought back, but currently, there isn't much response from him. He is suffering from malnutrition as well. There are symptoms telling us that he threw up everything from his stomach, probably during the...tests," She finished slowly, wanting to hear a reply from the group. Kanda and Komui just stayed silent, while Lenalee rushed inside without saying anything. The whole corridor seemed so eeriely silent, the cold wind brushing along their skin. Komui peered to the left, seeing the inspector and his group of men approaching. Kanda's eyes narrowed, sensing a storm coming.

* * *

Lenalee stepped into the room, seeing Allen from a distance. She slowly walked towards the bed, seeing machines and drips surrounding the silver-haired teen. The olive-haired girl held her breath, not believing what she actually saw.

Allen was lying on the bed, his face white and his lips pale with lack of blood. Many wires had been attached to his bare chest to monitor his heartbeats and his current condition. A **breathing tube(1) **connected to a **oxygen concentrator(2) **was attached at his nose to aid in his breathing. His hands were so thin that she could see blood veins pertruding out of the skin. She covered her mouth in shock as she kept shaking her head, wondering why it all ended up in this state.

He was only sixteen, a teenager who desired a life like normal young adults. Why did they keep saying that Allen was an enemy? He was just a mere victim, just like her and the rest! They surely did not want this! Lenalee sobbed, tears streaming down her face. It must be very painful to bear all of this, and she did not have any idea about it. Allen had told her that everything would be alright. How much longer must this carry on before he was completely broken?

The temperature in the room was exceptionally cold, and she wondered whether she should call the nurse to adjust it to a warmer temperature. Lenalee pulled his clothes and tried to cover his body as much as possible, without touching the wires which were connected to the medical machines and equipment. She touched his cold face and stroked his cheeks gently, forcing a smile just in case he woke up and asked what happened to him. Lenalee pulled a chair and slowly sat down, staring at him solemnly.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. If only she stayed firm in her decision and insisted to Leverrier not to take Allen away, this might not happen. If only she did not shake in fear and stopped Allen, he would be fine.

"Lenalee." She turned around, seeing Miranda standing by the door. She shook her head continuously as she stood up, wiping away the tears. She ran towards her and hugged the older woman, as she started to break down. Miranda did not say or do anything, letting her do whatever she wished. Lenalee gripped onto her Exorcist coat tightly, her tears gradually soaking it wet, yet she couldn't stop crying. When memories of Allen flashed in her mind repeatedly, she just couldn't stop herself.

"It wasn't your fault," Miranda said softly.

"No, it was my fault. If only I stopped him at that time, he would have..."

"There is nothing we can do about it."

"He would have been fine if I stopped him at that time!" Lenalee exclaimed loudly, the violet eyes flashing angrily at the other. Miranda just stared at her in slight astonishment, and the whole room turned silent again, only the soft beeps of the **electrocardiograph(3) **monitoring his heart rate evident. Lenalee turned around and as she felt her heavy forehead with her hand, she took a deep breath to calm herself down.

The air circulating in the infirmary always had a particular stench; a mixture of medicines and blood which made people feel slightly revolting and nauseous. She hated it, and if it was possible, she wouldn't step into this horrid place which reminded her about people who died or people whose lives changed completely after the accidents.

"There are black marks all over his body, mostly at his arms and around his chest," Miranda commented, observing the motionless one lying on the white hospital bed. Lenalee came over and took a look, realising that Miranda was right. Some were wounds that were almost healed, while others seemed to be done from countless tortures. His lips were slightly bruised as well, probably from the biting to prevent himself from screaming. Lenalee traced down the small wounds, her other hand slowly clenched as she turned.

"Wait, where are you going?" Miranda cried out, but as Lenalee was about to reach for the door, it opened and Kanda was standing there, stopping her.

"What are you doing, Kanda?"

"Where are you going?" He asked. She just glared, telling him silently to give way, but the raven-haired teen said nothing, showing a face with no expressions at all. Lenalee frowned, wondering why he was doing this.

"I need to go out, Kanda."

"Where?"

"Must I tell you everything in detail?" She snapped, giving a frustrated look on her face. Miranda stood at a corner of the room, seeing everything. She had never seen Lenalee looking so angry before. It wasn't that she had never get angry, but it was the first time seeing her getting so furious.

"You need to calm down."

"On what?" Lenalee asked. Kanda didn't reply.

"On what, Kanda? Can't you understand? Isn't this the reply you wanted?" She exclaimed, pointing towards Allen lying on the bed, unconscious. She couldn't understand why Kanda could still be this calm when the worst had happened. She couldn't comprehend why all of these had happened.

"Allen has been taken into the custody of the Vatican ever since he came back from the Ark incident, and no one is able to question on what is going to happen to him. We cannot question on their authority, and we can only wait. And this is the result that we got!"

"You know that there is nothing we can do. They are the ones who create the Black Order. They are the one who makes the rules and the final decisions."

"And there is nothing we can do? Look, an Exorcist is dying! They have been forcing him for months, torturing him to this state, and when Allen is deemed useless, they are just going to throw him away like some trash with no value to them," Lenalee said. Kanda still did not say anything.

"If you aren't going to do something, I will. I am not going to wait again. Everything is going to stop," She finished as she pushed off his arm hardly and walked out of the room, only to see her brother standing there, together with a group that she least wanted to see right now.

"Where do you think you are going, Lenalee Lee?" Leverrier asked, walking up to her.

"I'm going to stop you." Komui's eyes widened in horror at her words. Leverrier just blinked as he raised his eyebrow in slight curiosity and anticipation. A slant smile spread across his face, as he felt the tip of his chin and started to ponder.

"Well, as far as I know," He spoke, walking around her for a few circles before stopping right in front of her. He leaned towards her closely, his golden eyes flashing as though he was a predator who silently watched its prey's every movement, not allowing a single one to be out of his sight. He said nothing, but under his eyes, she could feel the heavy tension and the piercing glare which was preventing her to move, no matter how many times she tried.

"Your lowly status aren't even comparable, little girl," He whispered at her ear softly, and her eyes slowly widened in fear. Tears slowly streamed down her face, the time felt so dreadfully long that she wanted to escape out of this instantly.

"Sorry for the interruption," A voice called out. Lenalee blinked as she was being pulled backwards, into the arms of the raven-haired Exorcist. She blinked, slowly taking small deep breaths to clear out the heavy feeling which had been weighting her down. Komui heaved a great sigh of relief, while Leverrier just stared at Kanda who just appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, this is Exorcist Kanda Yu right?" He asked in a light tone. Lenalee looked up at Kanda, wondering what the older teen would do. Kanda just gave a smirk in reply.

"I am doing what I please, Inspector, and there is nothing you can do," He said as he started walking away, pulling Lenalee close to his side. As the three of them passed by, Kanda stopped again, standing right beside the inspector and his group of men.

_Allen has been taken away by that Leverrier and his men, and I just have a very bad feeling about it!_

"Whatever you are going to do, it will not stop him from reaching his ultimate goal." Leverrier's eyes reacted slightly at this sentence. As Kanda smirked once again and gave a short bow to their Superior, he pulled Lenalee along as the both of them walked out of the infirmary. Komui thanked the raven-haired teen inwardly for saving Lenalee at that particular moment, but it seemed that the inspector was not going to stop and give up anytime as well. He sighed as he peered at Allen who was still in comatose.

* * *

Allen slowly opened his eyes, wondering where he was. The music and the singing had somehow stopped, and Mana wasn't there anymore. In fact, the whole room had mysteriously disappeared. He rubbed his eyes as he slowly sat up, staring at the familiar walls and the things present inside.

Was he back inside his room? Had he been sleeping all these while? He couldn't remember much after he woke up. Allen pondered, before deciding to find Lenalee and ask her instead.

He stepped out of his room and looked around. Everything, no matter how he looked, seemed slightly different from the memory he had. The rooms were not really in their right positions, and the direction his room was facing wasn't really correct either. It was supposed to be facing more to the North-East rather than the South. The colourings of the whole building seemed odd to him as well. Allen frowned, wondering whether he had remembered wrongly. He had stayed here for quite a while, so it was almost impossible for him not to recall correctly.

He started walking around. There wasn't anyone he could ask, so he went down the flight of stairs to the basement. As he walked out, what he saw stunned him further. He was supposed to see the training room Exorcists used instead of Komui's office. The silver-haired teen stood in the middle, seeing Exorcists and scientists walking around. He hadn't been seeing them lately. Did he even see them before? They looked a little foreign, like strangers to him. It wasn't right. He had known almost everyone in the Black Order.

Finding Lenalee would be the best way. She could perhaps help him recall something. He searched around, but he couldn't see anyone who was familiar to him. He called out to anybody, but no one seemed to hear him. It was like...he did not exist here. Allen slowed down his steps, getting desperate.

"Lenalee! Lenalee, where are you? It's Allen! Where are you, Lenalee?" He cried out loudly, hoping that anyone could hear him and come to his aid. She might probably be doing another mission, but there was no reason for her not to inform him about this. She would usually leave a word before she left.

Link, who would always have a way of finding him no matter where he ran, wasn't following him as well. It somehow baffled him at the sudden disappearance of the people who would always be with him. The strange thing was, he had not spotted any of his friends in the vicinity where he was. Reever wasn't in the laboratory, Komui wasn't in his office, Lavi and Bookman weren't in the library, and Kanda wasn't in the training room as well. Everyone just vanished mysteriously, without a trace.

"Lavi! Lenalee! Can anyone just respond to me?" Allen shouted as he stopped running, panting heavily. He had been running the whole building for the past one hour and he hadn't seen anyone he knew. It was ridiculous and simply too coincidential for all Exorcists to be out on their missions when some needed to stay and protect this place. Furthermore, because of his special case, those related to him weren't allowed to go on missions until further notice. He should have spotted them at any corners. It was like he was running in circles, trapped in a particular maze.

Allen sighed as he leaned against the wall, wondering what he should do. No one was talking to him, and no one thought that something was wrong here. In fact, the whole thing seemed totally out of place. He sighed, wondering what was going to happen to him.

He saw the washroom right at his eyes, to his slight bewilderment. He did not remember that there was a washroom at such awkward place. Allen slowly approached it, and as he was at the door, he heard a faint dripping sound inside.

"Anyone here?" He asked softly, peering inside. No one was there, as expected. The doors were opened, the floor was dry, and it was kept neat and tidy, as though everything was untouched the whole time until he came. Allen entered, looking around cautiously. There wasn't anything appealing inside a washroom, but having one situated here was strange.

Allen peered at the sink which was extremely dry. It didn't make sense. He was sure that he heard dripping sounds inside the washroom. He tried searching for the source, but realised that there was nothing. No taps were turned on, and even if he tried, no water came out. It just seemed impossible.

Seeing that there was nothing else here, he turned and was about to leave when he stopped again. Allen slowly turned to the mirror at his right, staring at his reflection. It was certainly him, but something seemed to be wrong.

_**Hehehe...**_

His eyes slowly widened with slight terror, wondering where that eerie laughter came from. He turned and looked around, thinking that there might be someone behind, but to his greater astonishment, he found out that the doors were shut. There shouldn't be anyone here, and even if there was, he hadn't heard footsteps coming in. The silver-haired teen gulped nervously, wondering whether this was some kind of ghost scenes he heard in stories. Lavi loved talking about this, but sure he didn't.

"Is...Is anyone here?" He stuttered, getting afraid. The air suddenly turned cold and the dripping sound was getting louder, like it was slowly approaching him. Allen stared at the doors, slowly stepping back until his body leaned against the sink. He gasped and turned, getting ready to get out of here, but something caught his eye as he turned back to the same mirror again.

_**It..**_

It was his reflection, but something was definitely different. His eyes widened, seeing someone standing behind him. That person crackled into laughter, his hand started waving at him, as though he knew he was there.

_**...isn't a dream.**_

"F-Fourteenth..." So, the only thing that remained the same was that face of that Noah.

"Where am I? Tell me!" Allen demanded.

_**Why are you so anxious about?**_

"This isn't reality. I know that."

_**It isn't, yet it is.**_

"What do you mean by that?"

_**Don't be so hasty, Allen. This isn't over yet.**_

"What are you doing here, Allen?" Allen spun around at this different yet familiar voice from behind. Lavi was mysteriously standing there, his sunny smile on his face as usual. Allen just stared. How the hell did Lavi appear here out of the blue? He looked behind the redhead, and to his astonishment, he found all doors opened again.

"What are you mumbling about, Allen? Did you see something in the mirror?" Lavi asked, peering at the mirror in curiosity. He peered at him, not knowing how to answer. At this point, he couldn't trust anyone but himself.

"Allen, why are you keeping quiet? It isn't you."

"Is it?" Allen said as he paced towards the exit quickly, wanting to get out of this. Lavi was following him behind, talking things that he couldn't really understand. He did not want to understand either. Where exactly was he? Was he in reality? Everything looked so real, yet he knew it wasn't.

"Usagi!" He heard another voice, someone which he did not want to meet, but it was too late, as he saw his face and seconds later, they collided into each other and fell onto the ground. His head hurt badly, everything spun in his eyes, and all he wanted was just to get out of this place.

"Yu, can't you be more careful? You hurt our poor little Allen!" Lavi said as he walked towards him and helped him up. The raven-haired teen cursed a few words in his mouth as he was helped out as well, though he was unwilling. As the two older teenagers started bickering, Allen wondered what he should do. Judging by the Noah's words which couldn't be trusted, he concluded that this wasn't the real Black Order. The real location was somewhere, and he had to find the exit out of this dream.

_**You have noticed?**_

"You are obviously playing with me, stupid Noah." Allen muttered.

_**Don't need to flatter me. I enjoy every moment of it.**_

"I'm telling you to stop all these sick pranks!" Allen hissed, only to attract the other two's attentions as they stared at him in puzzlement.

"Who are you shouting to?" Lavi asked. Kanda had that weird gaze onto him.

"N-Nothing." Allen smiled, wishing that they would not probe.

"Che."

_**They aren't real, yet they are. This is what I mean.**_

"So how can I get out of here? I'm not as free as you."

_**Oh, that's so mean of you to say that. Noahs are busy people as well, you know.**_

"I don't know, sorry about that!" Lavi and Kanda were staring at him again. Allen started laughing sheepishly as he gave a foolish smile, telling them that he had somehow remembered some lines of a comedy movie that he had watched and it just somehow slipped out of his mouth.

"You are really a beansprout. And a stupid one." Kanda said.

"I'm not a beansprout! I have a name, BaKanda," Allen replied.

"No one would exactly remember movies in such detail, and it doesn't seem funny as well."

"Well, sorry for not being able to humour you, Kanda, and I didn't expect you to know what comedies really are. It's really such a pity to live a life with only your precious sword and your precious samurai pride," Allen sighed, shaking his head in sympathy. It was true, and he had always wanted to tell Kanda about his own opinion on him.

"What? And I really sympathise with you. You eat so much and yet your size still stays the same for the last two years," Kanda replied. They were still calm for now.

"I'm still in puberty, unlike you. Are you jealous?"

"Certainly not, for a glutton like you, Moyashi."

"Hey, I'm not a glutton!"

"Yeah, for someone who eats almost every food available on the menu. And in extra large servings as well." Kanda snorted. Allen eyed the raven-haired teen in slight annoyance.

"You are just being jealous, BaKanda. You also crave the food, just that it is all Japanese soba. Aren't you sick or not?"

"Not like you, Moyashi."

"I told you not to call me Moyashi!" Allen snapped.

"Moyashi." He repeated. Allen frowned.

"Sissy."

"The hell did you just call me?" This time, Kanda snapped as well.

"Got a problem with that?" Allen asked nonchalently, pretending that nothing had happened.

Meanwhile, Lavi was trying to stop the both of them from quarrelling, but it seemed to have become worse.

"Glutton idiot."

"Straight-fringe."

"White-hair."

"Ponytail."

"Shortie."

"Girly-man."

"Well, I know you two are really great friends but -"

"We ARE NOT!" The both of them yelled loudly in unison, their eyes glaring at the redhead to warn him not to interfere. Lavi just gulped in fright as he nodded his head vigourously, stepping back. Allen invocated his Innocence rather easily, to his surprise, and Kanda activated Mugen, as the two of them were going to get into a fight again.

"Stop, the both of you!" The next thing, he felt a hard slap on his head as he stumbled backwards, almost dropping his exorcism sword. Kanda just grunted as he stared at the one who hit him all of a sudden. Allen blinked as he saw Lenalee stepping between the both of them, a stern look on her face.

"Stop acting so childish please! The two of you are once partners!"

"Hmph!" Kanda just snorted before he walked away. Allen just stared at the olive-haired girl's presence, wondering where exactly she came from. She came up to him and smiled, patting his shoulders.

"How have you been, Allen?"

_**Everyone is here. Now, the Game is going to start.**_

Allen's eyes widened as he stared at the three friends in front of him.

_**Your friends are going to lead you to the exit. Only one of them is telling the truth, while the others are only part of me. There would be a door which would take you to the real World, or so-called 'The Reality'. And at that time, you win. **_

"Wh-What?"

_**However, if you believe in the wrong person and he or she leads you to the wrong door, then at that time, you will be one step closer to Hell. Do remember that there is no way back, Allen. When that happens, you lose.**_

"Are you playing with me?" Allen hissed in anger. How could he play and toy around with his friends' characters and personalities? It was pure humiliation, something which he definitely would not forgive. The Noah did not care and only laughed in reply.

_**Yes, you are playing one of my creative games right now, and be proud of it. No one has ever played them before, so I cannot guarantee whether you might come out alive or not. You might probably lose your sanity before you can eventually come out hehehe...**_

"Fourteenth!"

_**Hush, Allen. Remember, this is a game whereby it is reality, yet it isn't as well. They can hear what you say.**_

"Allen, what's wrong with you?" Lenalee asked, looking at him worriedly. Lavi stared at him in concern and Kanda was just observing him silently from a distance.

_**Let's see whether you are good in playing games, Allen. There will be no time limit, so you can have all the time you want in finding the exit, but if you cannot find it, you can spend the rest of your days here while I am preparing to take your body as my own.**_

Allen stared at the three of them. One of them was going to lead him to the real exit, while the other two were meant to confuse him and lead him to his doom. They looked so real, yet he couldn't trust them but himself. He could only depend on his instinct when he was with them, and somehow, though they did not know his real situation, they might somehow understand what he really wanted.

_**Yes, you can trust no one but yourself. Can you still differentiate between hell and reality at that point of time? We shall see whether you can pass the first test or not, Allen Walker. **_

The Fourteenth laughed for the last time, before the voice disappeared.

* * *

_**Stage one, start.**_

* * *

A/N: I know, everyone. It has been almost a year (actually, a few months) since I update a chapter! ): Sorry for the wait, here is the next chapter for this story, 'The Lotus Flower'.

I realised that I have to update this story, so I switched on my laptop and just sat there, thinking. I tried typing some words and then as I typed, it just became a rather long chapter. I was not really sure what happened, but my mind worked better on that day so that was why the whole progress was smoother and more successful. And when I had finished, I was like...WOW-ed. I did not expect myself to type such a long chapter ^,^

There will be slight confusion in this chapter, so do let me explain. The conversation from the Fourteenth would still be in bold and in italics. Allen's scene will still be typed in normal font because though he was still in comatose, but his subconsciousness was somehow inside another World that the Fourteenth created. It wasn't a dream but somewhere slightly related or connected to the reality, so it seemed like reality, yet in fact, it wasn't. This idea is slightly picked up by a movie shown few weeks or a month ago, called Inception, It is an awesome movie, so if you have not watched it, I recommend you to watch! The story is a little complicated and confusing, but I like the original idea used in the movie. The only difference between this movie and my story is that the time in that Virtual World and the time in reality would be the same. That means, when Allen spends ten years in that World, he will be in comatose in reality for ten years as well. But no worries, it isn't as if Allen will not wake up forever. He will, eventually, but I shall not tell all of you further. Please read on to find out!

The quote above is written from Tillie Lerner Olsen, who was an American writer associated with the political turmoil of the 1930s and the first generation of American feminists. And this quote really lets me ponder for a few moments. Through these years, do I have the time to think back on all the things that I have done and whether I have really done the right thing or not. I thought of using a quote for every chapter that I post, because I think it somehow reflects your life in a different angle, and I can learn something new! The quotes used will be slightly related to the chapters, or simply just a quote that I want to share with all of you because I think it's really meaningful.

The song lyrics should be rather familiar to all of you. It's the song sung by Allen during the Ark Incident. The name is called 'Tsunaida te ni Kiss Wo'. And the title has changed again! I have a reason for choosing this title, so just read on and find out!

This chapter is slightly humorous, (at Allen and Kanda's part. Makes me remember that particular episode when Allen appears like a hero, saves Lenalee, and bumps into Kanda who is somehow finding Tyki, and the both of them just start quarrelling like there is no end to it. It always makes me laugh because the two of them can really find just...anything to bicker on! XD), but mostly angsty.

Once again, I apologise for grammar and vocabulary mistakes. For the names of the medical equipment that I have used in this chapter, I have done researches on them by google-ing. I'm sorry if they are used wrongly because I'm not specialised in that field. I study business and read statistics. I suck in biology and chemistry, but I'm rather good in maths! :)

**Names of medical equipment:**

**Breathing Tube(1):** Also known as endotracheal tube, the breathing tube is a plastic tube used during artificial respiration, a procedure to assist a patient in breathing. One end of the breathing (endotracheal) tube is placed into the windpipe (trachea) through the mouth or nose. The other end of the tube is connected to a breathing machine (mechanical ventilator) or breathing bag (manual resuscitator). The breathing tube provides an airway so that air and oxygen from the breathing machine or breathing bag can be provided to the lungs.

**Oxygen Concentrator(2):** An alternative of piped oxygen or oxygen tank.

**Electrocardiograph (ECG or EKG) (3):** is a transthoracic interpretation of the electrical activity of the heart over time captured and externally recorded by skin electrodes.

(Please don't ask me to explain these medical terms! I abstract them from the internet. These are just for extra information :3 )

And thanks for the reviews and loves! :D

Please review! Everything is greatly appreciated!


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